


The Other Side of Paradise

by LUCKYWARRIORS (voidpacifist)



Series: Awtto Shorts [4]
Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Old Married Couple, laughing in angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidpacifist/pseuds/LUCKYWARRIORS
Summary: It's the aftermath of one of the worst days of his life. That's what best friends are for, right?Well, maybe if they stayed and didn't go off to be a rock and roll star.
Relationships: Awsten Knight/Otto Wood
Series: Awtto Shorts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785724
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	The Other Side of Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: panic attacks, fighting, crying. standard couple-y-ness I guess even though they're not a couple in this story. talk about sex without it ever happening
> 
> disclaimer: I own nobody and know nothing, I know nobody and own nothing. the end!
> 
> <3

It was a misunderstanding. That's what Otto keeps telling himself as he walks home. In the rain. Alone. Hungry. His apartment is only six blocks away from her house, but the journey has never felt longer as his shoes plod into mud puddles. He doesn't have the energy to care about how his white converse are getting dirty, but he knows he'll scrub them raw later out of sheer anxiety over the stains.

He misses Awsten.

That was the problem in the first place. He misses his best friend, so going to his girlfriend's house didn't bring him the same joy and excitement that it usually does. Did. Ex. She isn't his anymore. Or rather, he isn't hers. She said he hasn't been for a long time, and today just proves it. He doesn't know what the hell that means, but he does know they were on the rocks for a long time. Today is just the grain of sand that makes the weight too heavy and breaks them.

He hasn't been hers for a long time, because ever since Awsten left, ever since he got his big break two years ago, things haven't been the same. He hasn't heard much from his friend except that he has a new lady. He has a new place. He plays a show almost every week when he's not on tour. He never stops making and creating and performing. Life has become such a performance to him that Otto never gets a straight answer from him over the phone.

 _If_ he calls.

It's a very big if, because Awsten used to call Otto every day, and now Otto does all of the calling. Maybe only once a month, if he calls at all. Sometimes he sees Awsten's contact and is tempted to block the number, because it's not like they talk that much when they _do_ talk to each other. 

He misses Awsten. The _old_ Awsten. The one who was loud and funny and full of real life, not the Awsten that's physically away from him, being loud in a fake way and getting laid by someone even faker every other day. The last time he tried to call, he'd "interrupted the sex," and that memory angers him more than anything else. He recalls all the times they were young and Awsten told him he wanted it to be with someone special. He remembers the _last_ time he said that, not anticipating that only weeks later, after getting that big break, he'd sever that promise with himself and find a random girl at a party to call his own. 

Otto has never been more sad and angry than today. 

He toes off his shoes gingerly, not quite processing walking through his door on autopilot without checking to see that it was, in fact, already unlocked. Even if Awsten strutted through the doorway, with his bright hair and bright eyes and bright smile and just _brightness,_ Otto doesn't think he'd know it's him. He'd find the same disdain for him that he does for every celebrity who falls off the deep end and becomes self obsessed.

He kind of forgets that, for a moment, because Awsten is sitting at his kitchen table. He's hunched over and soaking wet, not much different from Otto. He looks like he's been crying. Or drinking- well, maybe not, because sobriety is the one thing about his friend that's never changed. Otto balks in his head, then feels angry. _Why the fuck is he here? After months? After blowing off everything about us for so long, pretending like things are peachy even though I lost my best fucking friend._

He really can't help but seethe, just not say anything as he completely ignores the wet man at his table and walks to the kitchen. He needs coffee. Or something stronger. Actually, he needs his girlfriend back, who he really does still love, even after all the affection and sweetness and honeymoon evenings have been washed down the drain.

He wonders if Awsten loves his, or if the thing he had was about nothing more than sex. Awsten _talks_ about her like it's love - about her laugh and eyes and personality and charm. He talks about her like she's a person who he cherishes, even though all it took was a hook-up for him to decide that. Otto guesses he can't judge them, but it was so unlike Awsten when he missed calling Otto because he was in bed with someone. 

It felt like how it feels when you know everything is about to change, even though you don't want to believe it. Maybe their friendship ended long ago, but Otto's been too stubborn to let that happen. Maybe it's been one-sided the whole time, maybe Awsten doesn't want anything to do with him-

"Otto."

The word sounds so foreign coming from him that it's enough for him to slam down his mug of coffee on the counter and burst into tears. He can't recall the last time he's heard Awsten say his name, and that's how he knows they've been done. How he knows with _certainty._ It's not a suspicion anymore - they're not best friends. They're hardly civil.

He hears Awsten gets up while he stands at the counter with his head in his hands, sobbing. He can hear him getting closer. He knows Awsten's arms are almost around him when he growls, _"No,"_ and flinches away. "Do not fucking touch me, Awsten Knight."

If Awsten's confused, he doesn't show it. But a flicker of something cold and sad crosses his features, and Otto, albeit angry and sad and all kinds of repelled by the sight of him, wants to know what happened. Wants to know what made him show up at his apartment at ten in the evening. Wants to know why he looks so sad when he has _the_ life. 

He doesn't need Otto. He's made that clear before, so why is he suddenly blurring the lines?

Awsten blinks at him, but doesn't say anything at all. Otto wipes away the tears from his eyes and tries to relax, but it doesn't come as easily as he wants it to. In fact, his whole body is tight. It feels like he's not breathing. He's on the verge of losing it altogether when Awsten says, "You didn't pick up today." There it is.

"Why should I have? Every time I call you, you're having sex."

Awsten blanches. "That's not fair-"

"Don't fucking tell me what is and isn't _fair,_ Awsten." He pauses to inhale, remind himself that he's not floating away from the earth's surface. "You left for your music and I thought you'd call every day- I thought _we'd_ call every day, just like _you_ said we would and then you met a girl and all you could talk about was her and you never asked me how I was and it was always _you you you_ and now you're here you're just fucking _here_ and it's been the worst day of my whole fucking life and I _miss you!_ "

He can't pause to catch his breath as he feels the blood drain from his face. He sinks to his knees at the counter and his skin feels like it's buzzing and _shit._ Is this how a panic attack happens this time? The last time it happened was so long ago. He thought they were gone forever but they're back and he has nothing to tether him. Nothing to remind him he's alive and not just a manifestation of an idea or living in a simulation. He shuts his eyes and groans. _He can't fucking breathe but he's trying to._

And then someone wraps a very gentle, very warm arm around him, and it's like he's plummeting back to earth again. He's not orbiting anymore. He's there. 

Awsten's there.

Otto's panicking finally melts like the ice around his lungs, and a few tears roll out on instinct. He has a feeling that after years of being gone, Awsten, _his_ Awsten, is back. He listens as Awsten mutters quiet _it'll be okay_ s and _i'm sorry_ s. When he finally feels relaxed enough to talk again, he's exhausted.

"She cheated," Awsten says, sounding numb. Otto moves his head to look up at his friend. His eyes are beginning to fill up, and he doesn't really know how to stop that from happening, so he lays his head on Awsten's shoulder and lets him have his share of crying.

It's been so bad.

But now he's home.


End file.
